Elvira*

She killed herself in front of everybody and no one noticed it.
She did it just because.
She just wanted to know what it was not to be alive, she didn’t know anything about death but she knew every tiny little secret of life.
She has been through everything, she has been a man, a woman, but neither of those Elviras’s has ever being loved.
She was once a quiet, shiny, little boy that learned early to please the others in order to get a little piece of that pleasure for himself.
Then he became a she to please the object of his affection, to follow the law of his desire.
She learned no to think about happiness, there’s no such a thing.
She wears men’s clothes to buy hustlers, cause she feels less ashamed than doing it as a woman.
She was afraid of finding the words to express her feelings.

*Elvira es el personaje principal de "In a year with 13 moons", del director alemán Reiner W. Fassbinder.